You guys!! By God’s great grace, something I wrote was posted with (in)courage today! I am so grateful for this opportunity to share what God has shared with me. You can click on the link below to read more.
Thank you friends for all your encouragement to me along the way.
Waiting on the Wind
I wore a dress today I had been saving. That was a mistake. The buttons are nearly bursting. I should have worn it earlier. It’s a super cute denim shirt dress, and it will only get worn about 2 weeks, if that. It’s a shame to waste a cute maternity dress. Especially when it’s your last pregnancy.
I’ve been saying I want to savor this pregnancy because it is my last. But that is quite a difficult thing to do when TWINS are your FOURTH pregnancy and you have three other active boys to take care of. Savor? Pregnancy? With twins?
After this one, LORD willing and the tubal ligation works, we will be done having children.
This is my last rodeo.
After this pregnancy, I will never again experience heart burn in the middle of the night (hopefully), or wake up to tingly fingers and a full bladder several times at night. I won’t see a basketball protruding through everything I wear. I won’t have problems bending over, and I’ll be able to comfortably wear my wedding rings again.
But I will also never feel a baby move within my body again. I won’t see the flicker or wave of an elbow just beneath the skin of my abdomen. I will never again have the amazing awesome responsibility of growing a life (or two).
So ladies, I am trying. Trying to squeeze my eyelids shut, pause, and make mental note of my last adventure in the most miraculous, mysterious, and fascinating event in the annals of motherhood: pregnancy.
So whether my buttons are bursting from joy or from an enlarged abdomen, may I be grateful and pause to remember this season of my life. For just like everything in life, it will pass. And like that cute maternity dress, it will never come around again.
The other night I snuggled up with my son to read books before bed. He picked one of his favorites, a Bible story book with cool illustrations of Noah’s Ark and Jonah and the whale. He doesn’t quite have the attention span for the whole story, so I usually just flip the pages and say a few words about each one. We came to the resurrection story and I read the verse at the bottom of the page.
It was Isaiah 25:8: “And the LORD God will wipe away tears from all faces.”
And like someone turned on a faucet, tears started streaming down my face.
Now, I am a woman. And a woman prone to tears at that. I cry for many different reasons, in many different ways, but I’m not sure crying has ever caught me so off guard like it did that night.
Why would a statement about God wiping tears from our eyes make me cry?
There is something about doing familiar things in an unfamiliar place that reminds you just how far away from home you really are.
We went and got our Christmas tree on Saturday. As we were driving to the nondescript parking lot, I realized that the leaves were still on the trees! Yellow, orange, maroon, gold–I have never picked out a Christmas tree with the fall colors in the background.
We set our tree up in the living room, but I didn’t even feel like decorating it. I didn’t want to listen to carols or deck the halls. It didn’t feel like Christmas was coming at all.
I thought the same about Thanksgiving. The palm trees were swaying outside the window as we sat down to our Thanksgiving meal. Not the usual backdrop for our turkey feast. I am used to seeing barren twisted tree branches curling up into clear blue skies through the window as we eat our green bean casserole.
Still, we had a nice meal. We lit a fire. We watched football. We had company. We even ate Indian Pudding, which we were told was a traditional New England desert for Thanksgiving. But I missed my family, and those barren tree limbs.
All these feelings I welled up in my heart, trying to deny their existence. Then I read a verse about Jesus wiping away our tears and it all came out. I was sad. I was homesick. But it was okay. He knew I was feeling down and one day He’s going to wipe all those tears away. What a beautiful thing for the LORD to say to His children. I am so glad the Bible includes verses like that one.
When things are going well in life, I say things like, “God is so good.” I know it’s true. I believe it. God is always good, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, God remains the same: good.
But I’ve been realizing lately, that the presence of so many good things in my life is not a result of God’s goodness. It is a result of God’s graciousness.
To say that I have these things because God is good in some way implies that He gives these things to me because I am also good. And so good people do good to other good people. But there is no way that I deserve all the wonderful the things I have been given. I am not that good.
I have these things because God is a gracious God, not because He is good.
There are so many wonderful attributes of God, but grace just may be my favorite. Undeserved merit. Kindness. Forgiveness. Grace.
It is enough to bring a grown man (and of course, a woman) to tears. It truly is amazing grace.
So what am I thankful for this Thanksgiving season? God’s overflowing, ever present, abundant, and humbling grace. Without which I would be lost and forever homesick, with no one to wipe away my tears.
It’s the week of Thanksgiving and I’ve been a huge slacker in giving thanks! Ahhh! It’s been a busy weekend and the last few days I’ve had sick kids, so it’s been a little more hectic than the norm.
Anyway, here’s what I’ve been grateful for the past few days.
Saturday: A spontaneous date to see Moneyball. Free babysitter and free movie. Can it get any better? And I loved the film. Sometimes I like knowing absolutely nothing about a movie before I see it, especially when they end up being good. I really really enjoyed it, perhaps because I wasn’t expecting to. Would definitely recommend it.
Sunday: A solo trip to Target. There is something invigorating and refreshing about cruising the aisles of Target alone. It’s the only time I get a glimpse of my former life (pre-kids, I mean). I actually have time to look at the coupons stuffed in my purse, meander through the Christmas decorations, and the home decor, and the laundry detergent, and so on. It was wonderful. Absolutely marvelous.
The first words out of my mouth when I came home were “Ahh, I really do love shopping.” Ha! And all I bought were zip lock bags, some of the Thanksgiving fixins, ant traps, cypress scented hand soap, and some other random stuff. I don’t consider myself a huge shopper, but I realize that I really do enjoy it. And there is something about Christmas that just makes me want to shop even more. I guess those subliminal messages are working. 🙂
Monday: A healthy check-up for Landon. He had his 18 month check up and weighed in at 25 lbs (70th percentile) and 33 inches (also 70th percentile). What a chunk! And what a healthy little boy. The nurse, who gave him his shots, commented on what great thigh muscles he had. How cute is that? Yeah, he’s gonna be a hunk.
Tuesday: That I haven’t gotten sick. All three of my boys have come down with a cold, a really nasty cold for Jacob, who has had a fever the past few days. But thank God, I haven’t gotten it. I don’t know how this is possible considering they cough and sneeze in my face a dozen times a day, and wipe their boogey noses on my shirts every thirty minutes. Thank you Lord, for sparing momma bird.
Today: Saying Happy Thanksgiving to our customers. It sounds silly, but I went into work for a few hours today and talked to customers as they were traveling through from Oregon, or heading down to Southern California. And it reminded me of my own family who was at that very moment traversing the MidWest and East Coast converging on Atlanta in a few hours. In a small way, I felt a part of the Thanksgiving travels, and that warmed my heart. I am sad to be missing out on the Thanksgiving reunion of a lifetime (okay, of the last five years), but we will have a nice time with just our little family…and Stephen. (A friend).
Well, that’s it my friends. The big day is tomorrow! What will I be thankful for then? Oh the anticipation…just kidding. Seriously. I may just be thankful for Turkey. Or maybe cranberries.
P.S. I almost forgot. Abby got a bath!!!!!! She has been overdue and stinking up our house! Hooray hubby!! Thank you Darrell! 🙂